Second Weddings… Yay or Nay?

I was recently in California to do a walkthrough at our wedding venue, taste all the delicious wines to select the ones to be served at our wedding, and to meet in-person for the first time, our Wedding Coordinator, Amanda. Amanda was so lovely, but kept on asking me the question, “Have you thought about this?” referring to many different details and aspects of the wedding. My answer every time was, “No.” Ha - “I’m having a wedding?!” was the thought that kept popping in my mind.

This morning over coffee and eggs, I looked at Mark (my fiance) and said, “Tomorrow is 6 weeks until our wedding.” His face froze and his eyes got big. “Right, exactly.” I said. Ha!

This wedding, like so many things in life, has turned out to be way more expensive and way more time intensive than I had anticipated (not shocking). There have been moments in these last weeks where we’ve just thought, “Ugh why didn’t we just get married on the beach in Laguna? Or have a back yard ceremony at your parents’ house? Or just go to the courthouse?” This is nuts.

But, then I remember: this is the first wedding my children will have ever been to - their Mom’s wedding. I wanted it to be more substantive than a simple beach side ceremony or back yard celebration. Getting married is a big deal, and I have to imagine a particularly odd deal when watching one of your parents get married. I want a real ceremony, as we as a culture have truly evolved to a place of a deep lack of ceremony and ritual. There are fewer and fewer times now that families, friends, and communities gather together to celebrate, mourn, honor, or cherish important milestones in people’s lives. I wanted not just our families, but our dear friends to be there, to witness Mark and I committing to this new container of marriage. News flash: it went sideways for both of us the first time, so maybe he and I need some extra help and involvement from the people who love us. I want all our dear friends present who have watched our love bloom, who have taken my teary phone calls when I’ve been upset, and have fielded Mark’s concerns that maybe being in a relationship wasn’t worth it. People have loved us well these last 3.5 years, and I want them there with us as we commit to doing life together.

What do you think about second weddings? Courthouse or proper ceremony?

I’m excited - I love parties and I love love.

xo

Anna